In David-Sensei's Cross Training forum, I note with interest a developing thread on vulnerable looking postures - and the merit of an agressive vs. non-agressive posture when facing a confrontation. One comment was made that a point arrives where violence is imminent regardless of a threatening stance or not - which applies heavily to a predator/victim situation - one that is faced often by women.
Which got me thinking more along the lines of the feminine side of this discussion - and the whole idea of "projecting" an attitude or posture of vulnerability. In the other thread, the idea of presenting a vulnerability as "bait" to get in a sucker punch and thus end the conflict has some advocates, and this point is expounded upon in various well-respected self-defense texts. I submit that just being female projects an image of vulnerability in many if not most instances.
So a couple of questions:
1) How then, can a women use this knowledge to her best advantage? Some of us are quite good at using this "helpless female" personna even when quite capable of performing some task without assistance - (like getting help changing a tire or checking oil at the service station) but on the other side, when faced with a potential attack - KNOWING that the very fact of being female is the draw for the predator - how can women best use this to get in their own "sucker punch"?
2) I've met quite a few martial artists who do not advertise the fact that they train. I used to keep my dan rank status pretty quiet before I started teaching - you know the comments: "well I better be extra nice to you so you don't hurt me!" etc. etc. ad nauseum. Now that my daughter has grown into a beautiful young woman, I have no problem letting her starry eyed suitors know that I like to hit things... hard! But the standard situation on the street does not find us wearing our black belt like a warning sign (not that it means much that way anyway - in fact that can be an invitation as well - but that is another topic) and as a female, as I've already said - our very gender puts us in a postion of perceived vulnerability. With strangers or non-karateka, I've cultivated an air of assertive coldness, which discourages approaches, and which I feel is a safer route when dealing with an unknown. In a confrontation, predators want victims, not adversaries (according to DeBecker) so for a woman to present herself in a "don't mess with me" type fashion would be eliminating some of the perceived vulnerability. This is WAY on the other side of two testosterone laden individuals barking at each other to see who will be the big bad dog of the junkyard... but when that dog starts nipping at the heels of a potential victim (female) the story changes. What are some ideas on the balance for a woman's projected "street" personna when it comes to using a "fake" vulnerability to exploit an advantage like the male situation "sucker punch"?
<blockquote>Invincibility is in oneself, vulnerability is in the opponent." Therefore skillfull warriors are able to be invincible, but they cannot cause opponents to be vulnerable. Invincibility is a matter of defense, vulnerability is a matter of attack.</blockquote>
-Sun Tzu
I tell my students that the martial arts is largely about protecting your own vulnerabilties and exploiting the vulnerabilties of others. While I see the merit of "baiting" to exploit an advantage and fool the opponent into a false sense of confidence, it occurs to me that this plays very different from a feminine point of view.
Any thoughts?
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Peace,
Lori
email: <A HREF="mailto:lori_san@hotmail.com">lori_san@hotmail.com</A>
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Perceived Vulnerability
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Perceived Vulnerability
A woman is often perceived to be more "vulnerable." Yes. Developing and maintaining a strong aura can deter an attack with some. With others it can also incite. some predators, deep in their heart, want women to be vulnerable and go about making it so.
We all have an aura that we naturally maintain. But we can manipulate with practice and to our advantage. Some times a predator is most vulnerable when he is overconfident. Must learn to when to exploit that vulnerability.
As a teen I worked briefly as a usher in movie house. I saw this big guy sneaking in. I followed him to where he seated himself and confronted him. Told him he had to leave or I'll call the cops. He got up and followed me. On the way through the crowed house, he kneed me in the back several times, laughing and taunting me with racial slurrs. I can't tell you how much I wanted to fight him then and there. But he would have been ready and it wouldn't look good in front of a crowd. I proceeded to the back of the threatre, rounded a corner and nonchalantly turned around. He was several steps behind, looking right at me with a smug grin. As soon as came within my distance, I hit him in the groin and doubled him down to my height. I unleashed an upper cut with the flashlight in my hand to his face and split him open from brow to jaw. He went down. Another usher I am grabbed him threw him onto the pavement. I have never had more satisfaction in taking someone out like I did with him. So much for his sense of invincibility and my "vulnerability...."
david
[This message has been edited by david (edited February 03, 2000).]
We all have an aura that we naturally maintain. But we can manipulate with practice and to our advantage. Some times a predator is most vulnerable when he is overconfident. Must learn to when to exploit that vulnerability.
As a teen I worked briefly as a usher in movie house. I saw this big guy sneaking in. I followed him to where he seated himself and confronted him. Told him he had to leave or I'll call the cops. He got up and followed me. On the way through the crowed house, he kneed me in the back several times, laughing and taunting me with racial slurrs. I can't tell you how much I wanted to fight him then and there. But he would have been ready and it wouldn't look good in front of a crowd. I proceeded to the back of the threatre, rounded a corner and nonchalantly turned around. He was several steps behind, looking right at me with a smug grin. As soon as came within my distance, I hit him in the groin and doubled him down to my height. I unleashed an upper cut with the flashlight in my hand to his face and split him open from brow to jaw. He went down. Another usher I am grabbed him threw him onto the pavement. I have never had more satisfaction in taking someone out like I did with him. So much for his sense of invincibility and my "vulnerability...."
david
[This message has been edited by david (edited February 03, 2000).]
-
David Elkins
- Posts: 1089
- Joined: Fri Jan 15, 1999 6:01 am
Perceived Vulnerability
Lori-san,
At the risk of overgeneralization, I can see how projecting an aura of vulnerability for a woman may be going to a place that would be extremely uncomfortable. Similarly for a man that has experienced abuse. Likewise, overcompensation can, as David points out -- incite. Neither being good things.
It's a fine line that we walk based upon studied and spontaneous predictions of behavior. To that end, the more tricks you have in your bag, the better equipped you will be to successfully manage difficulty.
Thus, the benefit of these discussions...if you have thought about it before you will be that much ahead of the game. Rehearsal so to speak.
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Good Training,
David
Uechi Ryu West
At the risk of overgeneralization, I can see how projecting an aura of vulnerability for a woman may be going to a place that would be extremely uncomfortable. Similarly for a man that has experienced abuse. Likewise, overcompensation can, as David points out -- incite. Neither being good things.
It's a fine line that we walk based upon studied and spontaneous predictions of behavior. To that end, the more tricks you have in your bag, the better equipped you will be to successfully manage difficulty.
Thus, the benefit of these discussions...if you have thought about it before you will be that much ahead of the game. Rehearsal so to speak.
------------------
Good Training,
David
Uechi Ryu West
Perceived Vulnerability
In all aspects of our breathing moments, we are guided by natural predatory/prey instincts!
Our eyes, ears, sense of smell and touch, combine together with intuition , like an elaborate alarm system!
Daily, we string out a net of “emotional feelers,” constantly probing, palpating whom we come in contact with! The way we look, dress, move and talk, what we say and how much information we volunteer, along with our projected aura, tells the world the type of ”inner force” we possess! Certain “innocent behavior” , certain words, action, and uttered beliefs, are heard and seen with so many individual variable differences, that get perceived as subtle signals as to who we really are!
The predatory/prey instinct of men vs. women, is often one of psychological game playing,
The interview, if you will, the man will try to get under the woman’s skin and push those buttons to make her feel helpless before the “pounce”!
Men, who take advantage of women or assault women, are “Neanderthal throw backs”,
They are predators, and they will avail themselves of any instinctive predatorily advantage!
While it is true that in some instances the woman may want to set up the opportunity to take the assailant by surprise, in reality that situation never really has a happy outcome because once the engagement is in process the man will become an infuriated animal after being hit by a woman, unless of course we are contemplating deadly force!
Experts seem to agree that for a woman, especially, the more confidence and “ back off” signals she exudes, the less attractive a target she will appear! The woman wants to avoid the grip of adrenalized rush which plays havoc with her mind state!
The best defense for any woman is to “ enter the mind of the assailant” before it degenerates to grabs and blows, by projecting a certain no nonsense” hands off” image which will be readily perceived !
------------------
Van Canna
Our eyes, ears, sense of smell and touch, combine together with intuition , like an elaborate alarm system!
Daily, we string out a net of “emotional feelers,” constantly probing, palpating whom we come in contact with! The way we look, dress, move and talk, what we say and how much information we volunteer, along with our projected aura, tells the world the type of ”inner force” we possess! Certain “innocent behavior” , certain words, action, and uttered beliefs, are heard and seen with so many individual variable differences, that get perceived as subtle signals as to who we really are!
The predatory/prey instinct of men vs. women, is often one of psychological game playing,
The interview, if you will, the man will try to get under the woman’s skin and push those buttons to make her feel helpless before the “pounce”!
Men, who take advantage of women or assault women, are “Neanderthal throw backs”,
They are predators, and they will avail themselves of any instinctive predatorily advantage!
While it is true that in some instances the woman may want to set up the opportunity to take the assailant by surprise, in reality that situation never really has a happy outcome because once the engagement is in process the man will become an infuriated animal after being hit by a woman, unless of course we are contemplating deadly force!
Experts seem to agree that for a woman, especially, the more confidence and “ back off” signals she exudes, the less attractive a target she will appear! The woman wants to avoid the grip of adrenalized rush which plays havoc with her mind state!
The best defense for any woman is to “ enter the mind of the assailant” before it degenerates to grabs and blows, by projecting a certain no nonsense” hands off” image which will be readily perceived !
------------------
Van Canna
