NM: I certainly don't mind but then ..its not my thread or forum.
Yes, I want to feel safe and I understand that most beginners do get a false sense of security from MA training. My current instructor has told me that, unlike me, most beginners never have or will be in conflict situations that would use it though. I suppose that is both good and bad. I know what it really is like and I don't fall into the trap of thinking I'm safe when I'm not. But I also have the difficulty of trying to get the sense of security in the first place, since I know that what I do know how to do is ineffectual for the most part. Ok..that's pretty convoluted but the best I can explain it. The first thing my instructor gave me was a 50 pg book or so from Tony Blauer, actually. Also info from Datu Kelly Worden's NSI. Its the kind of stuff I'm looking for...and since I'm going to be in Seattle.....
I have the chance to get it.
You are right that the "invisible wall" I was talking about is more of a "visible wall." I meant it in the sense that its not an actual, physical wall. Its all too tangible to people though obviously. What you say makes sense about turning it internally rather than where it is right now as something somewhat external to me. "Grasping" vs "Reflecting" mind is something I'm familiar with from my Asian Philosophy too, but perhaps not those precise terms. I hadn't thought to apply it here before. Thanks for bringing it up.
Really good comments and I appreciate them.
jorvik: I know I definately have my limitations, not the least of which is that I am weaker power wise than anyone I would need to defend myself against. But I'm relatively flexable instead. I believe the remark I have had from instructors trying to teach another student how to put a hold on me is that I'm "just too fluid" for many of the holds to work. This is a benefit for some of what I need: escape methods. It also teaches the others, I hope, what to do when the person's style or structure doesn't fit what is supposed to work. No flash is fine for me.
I am not in it for belts or competition or to look pretty, but for learning survival techniques that I hopefully will never have to use. The rest is just gravy.
I agree the forums are good for the most part. I've seen some deeper philosophical discussions on these boards than in many of the classes I've had. Just goes to show how diversity is an asset, whether from differences in age, culture, skill, education, or whatever. My only problem really is that I'm pretty liberal in my views, something that doesn't seem to be welcomed in most discussions. I'll check out Van's forum too since you recommend it, though I'm not qualified to comment in any way on the technique stuff. I don't have the training to discuss the nitty gritty of how to do x or y or which is better. I only have my own experiences and education to draw on: ie. being a reasonably educated 30something single woman in the Pacific Northwest of the U.S. with plenty of opinions of her own.
Thanks to both of you for the nice comments. I really appreciate the feedback and input.
Please keep it up whenever you feel like it.
Le'
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