What really irritates me (and scares me as well)

Bill Glasheen · Post by **Bill Glasheen** » Wed Jan 13, 2010 5:47 pm

CornMaiden wrote:
How about a brightly colored memo note placed under the offending person's windshield, letting them know you would appreciate them being courteous to those needing the 2 parking places...followed by letting him know you have his license and have no qualms reporting it to the proper authorities.

Corn Maiden

I'm sorry, I missed this first time around.

I've tried this before. A subsequent conversation did not go well. Perhaps it was difficult to hide my utter contempt. But... I never saw him park there again. Weasel...

I cannot efficiently modify someone else's behavior if I cannot be master of my amygdala. Therefore I tread upon such situations with great caution. Some battles are worth fighting; others are not. My first battle will be the one within.

Repeat offenders WILL be communicated with, but in the proper way. A camera phone is a wonderful thing - particularly if someone witnesses data being taken. No words need be spoken, and a picture is worth a thousand words of testimony.

- Bill

CornMaiden · Post by **CornMaiden** » Wed Jan 13, 2010 5:50 pm

...good point, Glasheen Sensei.

A paradigm shift is a good thing. Rather than work on the offending party, work on your reaction response.

Good luck with your dilemma.

Corn Maiden

Jason Rees · Post by **Jason Rees** » Thu Jan 14, 2010 8:10 am

*Snap a picture of the car from four directions, making sure to get the licence plate number.

*Walk up to the guy inside, switch camera to video mode...

"Hey, man. Is that your mercedes out there? Beautiful! Smile! The cops are going to love you. Yeah, that's my car parked behind yours. "

*Grin.

f.Channell · Post by **f.Channell** » Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:15 pm

Would trapping their car be considered kidnapping?
Must be something illegal in that.
Right thing to do, but not legal. LOL..

F.

Van Canna · Post by **Van Canna** » Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:45 pm

Jason Rees wrote:*Snap a picture of the car from four directions, making sure to get the licence plate number.

*Walk up to the guy inside, switch camera to video mode...

"Hey, man. Is that your mercedes out there? Beautiful! Smile! The cops are going to love you. Yeah, that's my car parked behind yours. "

*Grin.

Sure...now if the people in the car you are approaching to chastise look like this

What would we do or say, if anything at all?

Van Canna · Post by **Van Canna** » Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:53 pm

Or you may come up against the wrong guy who is having a bad day…he may just shoot you for messing with him.

Such undertakings should be thought over very carefully with a strategic mind...something we should learn as we practice martial arts.

What I have seen recommended, is for you/us to go into the store that owns the parking lot and put the manager/security on notice of someone taking up a handicapped spot and let them handle it, removing yourself from harm's way...which can include thousands in legal fees.

Van Canna · Post by **Van Canna** » Thu Jan 14, 2010 4:06 pm

f.Channell wrote:Would trapping their car be considered kidnapping?
Must be something illegal in that.
Right thing to do, but not legal. LOL..

F.

I mentioned the case where the homeowner upon returning home, found burglars in the basement, locked them in there, and called the police. He was told that they would have to charge him with kidnapping.

You are right Fred. What that woman did is really pretty stupid, though I can understand the reason.

Blocking her car and going into the woman's purse and appropriating her driver's license so she could not leave if she wanted to...can be classified as false imprisonment.

Not a sound legal thing to do.

And I chuckle at the thought of this woman being in the house where husband and wife lived...having sex with the husband.

Just imagine the reasons behind the husband allowing such a thing to happen. Probably to get back at her for something she did to him or for a myriad of other reasons.

mhosea · Post by **mhosea** » Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:10 pm

f.Channell wrote:Some type of psychological problem, but it seems if mom brought him salads instead of potato chips and soda he would lose weight.

Yes, but surely the psychological problem must be dual, of mother and son. There are milestones that should set off alarm bells and spur any normal parent to action, whether that be medical, nutritional, motivational, or whatever.

Bill Glasheen · Post by **Bill Glasheen** » Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:12 pm

The only "illegal" thing I *thought* of doing (but didn't do) was similarly to leave my car running but with the doors locked, and accidentally blocking him as I double-parked. You know... a guy's gotta get his cup of joe in the morning.

But no. Throw away the legal aspects; I have lost the moral high ground. This is the sort of thing where if the little voice in your head tells you it's a dumb idea, then there's probably a reason not to go there.

This however I WOULD do.

Jason Rees wrote:
*Snap a picture of the car from four directions, making sure to get the licence plate number.

* Wait inconspicuously by the car.

* When driver comes back and opens his door, say "Excuse me, sir!"

* Snap a picture as he turns his face to you. Then say "Thank you, sir."

* Put Blackberry in front pocket. Calmly leave and go get some coffee.

* Externally show a poker face. Internally be in condition yellow.

* If he follows me inside, ignore him. Externally look aware. Internally be in condition red.

* If he lays a hand on me - in front of witnesses - all bets are off.

I would only consider doing this if I saw the car a SECOND time doing the same thing. We all have bad days. But sociopaths repeat bad behavior.

- Bill

Jason Rees · Post by **Jason Rees** » Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:14 pm

We all have our impish, throw-caution-to-the-wind moments.

Myself, I don't get worked up over handicap spots. Kinda hard to, when we have a handicap thing for our vehicle. My middle son has a heart condition. We sometimes use it, we sometimes don't. It's conditional, based on his condition.

I've seen the looks, but I gotta tell ya, when we're using it, I don't much care what people are thinking. Someday it might get physical and I'll have a guy like Bill in my face, all moral indignation, hell's fury and heaven's avenger all bundled up and ready to burst. God help us.

mhosea · Post by **mhosea** » Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:15 pm

Bill, I think it would be great to snap a picture of this able-bodied man, carrying his Starbucks coffee, getting into his car, with the handicapped signs visible so you could see both spaces. It could go on www.epicfail.com as "Parking Fail". Leave his face, if you get it, but blur the license plate.

Bill Glasheen · Post by **Bill Glasheen** » Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:22 pm

Jason Rees wrote:
Someday it might get physical and I'll have a guy like Bill in my face, all moral indignation, hell's fury and heaven's avenger all bundled up and ready to burst. God help us.

Au contraire. The Bills of the world are protecting your ability to use that spot when you need it. If you have a "handicap thing" for your vehicle, that's a sign to the world that you belong where you are.

Would you use that spot without the proper tag? Would I walk out the front door without my concealed carry permit? We all have legal responsibilities. Special privileges require the proper documentation.

Do you really think I'd stop a blind person from entering a building with a dog? Most times when I'm out in the city and I see such a person, I might even check to see that the coast is clear for them. Just a month ago when I saw two such people walking with sticks and looking confused (out in traffic), I stopped them and asked if they knew where they were going. Again... it's that instinct thing. I can't explain it.

Re-read my first post. I spit that thing out in the heat of the moment - complete with the prelude and my state of mind during the event. If you read the whole thing, you'll understand.

If you don't have kids and/or you aren't an active parent, well...

- Bill

Van Canna · Post by **Van Canna** » Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:47 pm

I can certainly understand acting out of first indignant impulse when we don’t even care for the consequences.

But as martial arts practitioners we learn to act responsibly and tactically to avoid costly unintended consequences, having to dig deep in your wallet to pay a lawyer for criminal defense charges, if our actions trigger unintended/unforeseen attacks by the wrong guy we happened to pick on when there were alternate solutions…

Having to dig deeply in your wallet to pay for defense and or indemnity against a civil suit…because your insurance company will deny coverage…

Or possibly having to spend some vacation years behind bars.

By blocking people out of handicapped spots or create a disturbance by taking photos etc. _ we are not going to change the world…

The reasonable thing to do is to go into the store and report the problem to management/ security and let them handle it.
Never seek a confrontation if ever possible to avoid one.

Jason Rees · Post by **Jason Rees** » Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:49 pm

I understand, Bill. And alot of people who live in ignorance have alot to be thankful for, that you're as thoughtful and intelligent as you are.

Unfortunately there are complete dithering idiots out there who think they're moral police, and inflict their passions on others with or without cause.

I got called an A-Hole by a guy on the boat (caused a big scene, and everyone at the table scattered). Apparently, he was indignant because he saw me 'acting rudely' towards a cook and the people behind me by 'telling the cook to wait' while placing an order.

This guy was five or six people behind me in line. My wife and kids were with me, and the reason I said 'wait' (the only word the guy heard), was because we had already placed our orders, and people behind us were getting served, while the cook had (understandably with six orders) forgotten my wife's order.

This guy made a huge scene, ruined a good time for alot of people, and got up in my face all hot and bothered... over nothing. (Oh, and he was flipping huge. Towered over me and probably outweighed me by 50+ lbs) Some people don't have the brains to make distinctions. I'm glad you do.

Bill Glasheen · Post by **Bill Glasheen** » Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:57 pm

Van Canna wrote:
The reasonable thing to do is to go into the store and report the problem to management/ security and let them handle it.
Never seek a confrontation if ever possible to avoid one.

Take a trip to Germany some time when you can, Van. It is one of God's places on this earth. And while you are there, try jaywalking. You know... innocently cross the street when the light isn't green - even though there are no cars anywhere to be found. Chances are even or better that some random citizen will stop in their tracks and yell at you.

Go figure.

The CEO of my company went to Germany to make an acquisition. He was typically in a hurry, and he ended up getting yelled at a lot - in German. I had to explain things to him when he got back.

Context and culture count.

- Bill