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Too Far Into Culture

Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2001 6:07 pm
by Cecil
Look at this link, and the picture, and read the explanation. No, the guy is not me, I had to put the link on a page because the forum doesn't like the really long URL:
http://www.geocities.com/creativebrother/sarongsong.html


I laughed. I am still laughing. Tears, yes tears, because he looks like he is in a skirt. It's a sarong, but with that shirt, and the coloring, it looks like a skirt.

But really, I have to also laugh at myself. How many times haven't I, and many of you reading this, gone too far in wearing martial-arts like clothing and grooming:

1) how many of you are wearing kung-fu pants and Chinese shoe-slippers to work or school? In DC? New York? MD? VA? Atlanta? Cali?

2) are you sporting a Segal-like pony-tail?

3) did you bald your head, not to be like Mike, but to be like a Shaolin Temple sifu?

4) are you a black man who grew a braid down the back of his head, that you then style in a Segal-like ponytail?

5) can you kick in darn near every pair of pants that you own? Ever practice kicking and stretching in public?

6) did you wear your karate-kid sweat rag on the street before it became a fad, and will you keep on sportin' it afterwards?

7) are you wearing a "Budda bless you" overly long goatee that you stroke when you are thinking?

8) do you have a dragon, tiger or other vicious fighting animal tatooed on you somewhere?

We will laugh at that guy, I know I am still laughing, but remember to also take time to laugh at yourself, or you will tend to take some things in life way too seriously.

------------------
Email: <A HREF="mailto:creativebrother@yahoo.com">creativebrother@yahoo.com</A>
Web Page: http://creativebrother.freehosting.net


[This message has been edited by Cecil (edited August 03, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by Cecil (edited August 03, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by Cecil (edited August 03, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by Cecil (edited August 03, 2001).]

Too Far Into Culture

Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2001 5:52 am
by LeeDarrow
Cecil!

You have given a certain comic a variation on his Redneck routine!

You may be a Martial Arts Junkie! Take this Simple Test -

Can you quote the Wisdom of Master Po while doing an imitation of him, right down to the weird contact lenses?

Are your slippers made in China (and you wear them to work or school everyday)?

Do you lip-synch the lines to every Bruce Lee Movie ever made? In your sleep?

Do your lips move before and after you speak and not follow the words you are saying? (for the movie fans only)

Do you open doors with a high kick, elbow strike or jing?

Do you use a nukite strike to change channels on your TV remote?

Do you kiai when picking up a bag of groceries? Even a small one?

Do you fast forward through the sex scenes in "Busty Karate Babes" to get to the fight scenes - and run them over and over and over...

Do you get hassled by the Fire Inspector on at least a monthly basis for all the candles you have burning, especially in the summer when the air conditioning is on?

Do you go through a series of knife spins and flips before cutting the Thanksgiving Turkey? Extra points if you use a katana.

Did you cut your wedding cake with a wakizashi?

Did your groomsmen tell you that your wrist was bent when you smashed the glass at your (Jewish) wedding?

Do you use a taisabaki move to pull open doors?

Do you constantly gripe about the Shaolin Monks on Kung-fu - the Series and their quoting the Tao?

Do you do a "Mystery Kung-Fu Theater 3000" party at your house on New Year's Day and make snide comments on the really, really, really bad MA flicks you got from Kung-fu Moveis By The Pound?

Do you have a dragon branded into your right arm and a dragon on the left? (or is it the other way around? The real MA junkies will know that, too!)

Do you have dreams of Michelle Yeoh, Angela Mao Ying and Kung-Fu Mamma - together? (if so, you aren't just a MA junkie, you need serious therapy!)

Did you name your kids Shorin and Uechi (I actually know someone who did)?

Do you correct your cat on IT'S style?

You get the idea.

With tongue firmly in cheek,

Lee Darrow, C.Ht.

Too Far Into Culture

Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2001 7:05 pm
by Panther
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Cecil:

1) how many of you are wearing kung-fu pants and Chinese shoe-slippers to work or school? In DC? New York? MD? VA? Atlanta? Cali?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Never. It's advertising.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
2) are you sporting a Segal-like pony-tail?
I don't have a "Segal-like" pony-tail and my reason for having it has/had nothing to do with martial arts. Image

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
3) did you bald your head, not to be like Mike, but to be like a Shaolin Temple sifu?
If/when that happens it also won't have anything to do with martial arts. Image

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
5) can you kick in darn near every pair of pants that you own? Ever practice kicking and stretching in public?
Yes, because I like loose fitting clothes.
No. Never.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
6) did you wear your karate-kid sweat rag on the street before it became a fad, and will you keep on sportin' it afterwards?
Image Advertising.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
7) are you wearing a "Budda bless you" overly long goatee that you stroke when you are thinking?
When I had facial hair it had nothing to do with the martial arts.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
8) do you have a dragon, tiger or other vicious fighting animal tatooed on you somewhere?
Nope. But I've thought about it. Margaret says it will mess up my chi and I trust her on that! Image

Too Far Into Culture

Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2001 7:18 pm
by Panther
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LeeDarrow:

Can you quote the Wisdom of Master Po while doing an imitation of him, right down to the weird contact lenses?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Who?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
your slippers made in China (and you wear them to work or school everyday)?
LL Bean only used at home.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
lip-synch the lines to every Bruce Lee Movie ever made? In your sleep?
Nope.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
lips move before and after you speak and not follow the words you are saying? (for the movie fans only)
Nope.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
open doors with a high kick, elbow strike or jing?
Amateurs... I use my chi.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
use a nukite strike to change channels on your TV remote?
Image chi again...

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
kiai when picking up a bag of groceries? Even a small one?
Kobuki breathing. Bean sprouts and green tea aren't that heavy anyway.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
fast forward through the sex scenes in "Busty Karate Babes" to get to the fight scenes - and run them over and over and over...
Not in my collection...

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
get hassled by the Fire Inspector on at least a monthly basis for all the candles you have burning, especially in the summer when the air conditioning is on?
Only use candles when the power goes out.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
go through a series of knife spins and flips before cutting the Thanksgiving Turkey? Extra points if you use a katana.
Nope.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
cut your wedding cake with a wakizashi?
Nope.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
r groomsmen tell you that your wrist was bent when you smashed the glass at your (Jewish) wedding?
That's done with a stomp! Image

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
use a taisabaki move to pull open doors?
No. That causes me to spill my coffee...

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
constantly gripe about the Shaolin Monks on Kung-fu - the Series and their quoting the Tao?
No. I missed too much of the dialog because I was ROTFLMAO!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Do you do a "Mystery Kung-Fu Theater 3000" party at your house on New Year's Day and make snide comments on the really, really, really bad MA flicks you got from Kung-fu Moveis By The Pound?
Nope.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Do you have a dragon branded into your right arm and a dragon on the left? (or is it the other way around? The real MA junkies will know that, too!)
No. But I once knew a guy that got them tattoed when he reached go-kyu... only to realize later that they were upside-down and backwards... D'OH!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Do you have dreams of Michelle Yeoh, Angela Mao Ying and Kung-Fu Mamma - together? (if so, you aren't just a MA junkie, you need serious therapy!)
SERIOUS therapy!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Did you name your kids Shorin and Uechi (I actually know someone who did)?
Poor kids. Is that child abuse?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Do you correct your cat on IT'S style?
My cat routinely kicks my @$$!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Do you use chopsticks to eat your ice cream?
Nope. Allergic to ice cream.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Do you walk in flip flops without making a sound?
Haven't worn them in decades.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Do your kids refer to you as that Kung-fool?
No kids.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Do you try and figure out how every item on your desk could be used as a weapon - and work out kata for them?
D'OH!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Do you do the Kusanku Bo kata with the broom - at work?
No.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
In winter, when you put on a balaclava, do you immediatly flash back to American Ninja 14? Without getting sick to your stomach?
How damn many OF those were there?!!!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
When you see a Kawasaki Ninja motorbike, do you wonder where they keep the shuriken on it?
It should be in the tires.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
At a 3D movie, do you try to CATCH the arrows being shot at the camera? (guilty!)
Never been to one.

Too Far Into Culture

Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2001 5:33 am
by LeeDarrow
More on the humor issue,

You Might Be A Martial Arts Junkie (pt 2)

Do you use chopsticks to eat your ice cream?

Do you walk in flip flops without making a sound?

Do your kids refer to you as that Kung-fool?

Do you try and figure out how every item on your desk could be used as a weapon - and work out kata for them?

Do you do the Kusanku Bo kata with the broom - at work?

In winter, when you put on a balaclava, do you immediatly flash back to American Ninja 14? Without getting sick to your stomach?

When you see a Kawasaki Ninja motorbike, do you wonder where they keep the shuriken on it?

At a 3D movie, do you try to CATCH the arrows being shot at the camera? (guilty!)

Just some more.

Lee Darrow, C.Ht.

Too Far Into Culture

Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2001 6:17 pm
by LeeDarrow
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by student:
Okay, Cecil:

You pegged me on #5.


Lee...wherever did you get the idea for
Originally posted by LeeDarrow:

Did your groomsmen tell you that your wrist was bent when you smashed the glass at your (Jewish) wedding?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Image
"What is the Way of the seal?

hmmmmmmmmmm.,

The Way of the seal is to finish in last place and trade your first draft choice for a known defense man!

Thank ghods for Shields & Yarnell!

"Fight him with herbs?!" Yep! Herb's .357 magnum!

Laughing-Lee Darrow, C.Ht.


Just because that is EXACTLY what you and a Nauseating friend of ours did to me at mine.... Image


"Grasshopper, what is the way of the seal...?"

student,
the Shaolin Abbot
to Lee Darrow's Costello....

[This message has been edited by student (edited August 09, 2001).]

Too Far Into Culture

Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2001 5:16 am
by student
Okay, Cecil:

You pegged me on #5.


Lee...wherever did you get the idea for
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LeeDarrow:

Did your groomsmen tell you that your wrist was bent when you smashed the glass at your (Jewish) wedding?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Image

Just because that is EXACTLY what you and a Nauseating friend of ours did to me at mine.... Image

But to show there are no hard feelings left, 25 years later, I will omit commenting about correcting a cat about "it's" (contraction of "it is") style when it should have been "its" (possessive) style.

I will not state that your grammar was bent.

Isn't that nice of me?

And yes, I did stop the elevator door today with a reverse crescent kick; do open doors with pak saos, tactical S.P.E.A.R.s, shutos, etc.; am able to kick in all my pants and do sometimes stretch in public; and can do (and have done!) Master Po shtick with you at the drop of a pebble.

"Grasshopper, what is the way of the seal...?"


"Mr. Caine, how you gonna fight a man that big with nothin' but HERBS?

Image


student,
the Shaolin Abbot
to Lee Darrow's Costello....

[This message has been edited by student (edited August 09, 2001).]