How Not to be a Victim

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Dana Sheets
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How Not to be a Victim

Post by Dana Sheets »

So I watched an hour long video last night from a few years ago (1992) I think. "Street Smarts - How Not to Be a Victim" by JJ Bittenbinder.

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http://www.defendoor.com/bittenbinder.html

Love that 'stache!

Here's his quick online guide of his info:
http://defence4u.com/

I tell you what - so much of what he said may be common sense - but it's not always stuff you hear altogether in a coherent, cohesive way.

Everything he said made sense.

As he put it - the "goofs" (bad guys) are mostly going to commit crimes of opportunity. So don't be the most vulnerable or weakest one - look like a tough target. The goofs don't want to go to tough targets - they want the easy one. You don't have to be the toughest person to ever walk the earth - you just have to look like a tougher target than the people around you.

For women he talked about carrying purses - that you don't let it get behind you when you've got your briefcase and whatever else in your hand. As he put it - American women always have two things - their purse and something else. So the first step is to keep that purse in front and keep a hand on it. He said better yet - wear a fanny pack - however that's not always possible.

He laid out a basic outline:
HAVE A PLAN
This means knowing what you are going to do before you step into the arena. If you look tough, if you know what you are going to say and what you are going to do, you have a plan. And it doesn't need to be sophisticated. In fact, the simpler the better. But you must have a plan.

{In the video he gave an example of an old women who, thinking the steadily approaching man was going to steal her purse, turn to her would-be attacker and said "Don't I know your Mother?" The man paused, and walked away.}

DENY PRIVACY
The notorious mass murderers Bundy, Gacy and Dahmer took people to what we call a secondary crime scene, someplace other than the initial place of confrontation. It is the most deadly piece of ground. And they took their victims in cars. You cannot allow this to happen. He's counting on your cooperation and he knows you want to believe his lies. If he wants to take you into a car, or down an alley, you do not go. Ever!

ATTRACT ATTENTION
Yell, scream, whatever it takes - when you are in trouble or you see someone else in trouble. You've got to get help! Because the goof cannot ignore it. He doesn't want to be seen!

TAKE ACTION
If fleeing is an option, it's always your best option. Give up your property and get out of there. But if the attack is physical, you've got to respond. You can't let this goof have control, or let him pull you into a car!

JJ is quick to point out there are no absolutes. Nothing will work every time and each situation must be evaluated on its own merits. But this information can significantly reduce the risk of being victimized and we encourage you to incorporate JJ's advice into your daily activities.
Now for most of the people on these forums this stuff is obvious and some will even take exception with a bunch of "what if" scenarios.

However - if I think about the people who don't usually think about this stuff - his approach is an effective, non-threatening way to get this message across to our parents, siblings, spouses, children, and friends.

It would even be easy to build some handouts and quizzes around his material if you were going to use this for a non-martial arts related self-defense class.

The website has good info - but it's really his presentation that works well. If you have a chance to see this video and share it. Usually I roll my eyes at this kind of stuff and say "what can you learn in a 60 minute video" but this one is different.

Dana

PS - one of the most helpful things in the tape to me - and something I've done in the past was the following.

If somebody rear-ends you, you don't have to get out of your car. You are only required by law to identify yourself. So don't leave your car. Take your insurance information and your driver's license and put it against your window and let the other person copy down the info. Do not hand over your driver's license. Only open your car window 1 inch. Because the only thing going out of your window is your voice. If the other person starts to get agitated, stay calm, roll up the window and sssllllooowwwwly (slowly) drive away. (So you don't run them over).

Then once you get where you're going you can call the police or insurance folks and file the report. If they're honest - then they'll have also filed a report. If they're not honest - you'll never hear about it again.

I can think of at least two times when I was involved in a little rear-ender and got out of my car without thinking. How was I to know that the rear-end "accident" wasn't a setup for a more violent crime?
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Dana Sheets
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Post by Dana Sheets »

"Every father has stood in front of his daughter in September and said 'Now I just spent $60 for that new lunch bucket, and new book bag - and where that book bag is, you better be'. And he's just reinforced the wrong thing."
Tell the child to "DROP THE BOOKS!" before they run! Because this guy is not after this kid's spelling homework, or her new book bag. I know because I'm the one who gets the little girl who is fondled and says, I would have got away, but that book bag was so heavy' and her father's heart is breaking! You get to give up your purse or wallet, the kid gets to drop the books. It's called taking a draw.
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Dana Sheets
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Post by Dana Sheets »

Publications:
JJ's book, Tough Target, is in bookstores nationwide. JJ has been featured in many magazines and newspapers, including Reader's Digest, Runner's World, Good Housekeeping, Ladies' Home Journal, Glamour, Prevention Magazine, Chicago Tribune, London Times et al.

http://www.weyrich.com/book_reviews/tough_target.html
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gmattson
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Sorry Dana...

Post by gmattson »

But all the time I was reading your posts I kept seeing JJ's picture in my mind, thinking...

Wow, what would I do if this guy showed up at my door, saying he was my daughter's date! :)
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Dana Sheets
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Post by Dana Sheets »

yeah...he's definitely got a certain kind of...flair! 8O
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Randy Pelletier

Post by Randy Pelletier »

Excellent stuff Dana.

Gavin Debecker has a book that Rick handed out to all his adult and youth students and asked us to read. It is called "The Gift of Fear" He particularily encouraged the youth women to read it as it highlights a lot of instincts within ourselves that we never pay attention to but are clear warning signs. Most of the time we ignore them in fear of looking foolish. But the question yo uhave to ask yourself is looking foolish to a stranger worth the risk protecting yourself? Of course it is.

You have probably already heard of this book as it has been around for a while but for those that haven't, it is a great read for your own self awareness. I strongly recommend it.
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Dana Sheets
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Post by Dana Sheets »

I particularly like the section in the back where he lists questions parents should ask the administrators of their children's schools about safety.
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Randy Pelletier

Post by Randy Pelletier »

I agree but you have to wonder how many parents would actually ask the questions or find it too embarassing.

My daughter is in our class as a youth and she enjoyed the book as it made her think twice about certain guys she knows. Her personal awareness level is higher than most due to the book and Rick's special attention that he describes in the post on his forum. http://forums.uechi-ryu.com/viewtopic.php?t=13017

All excellent stuff that should not be taken lightly.
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Post by Guest »

I think JJ looks like Lanny MacDonald! Go Flames Go!....Ohhh yeah they are still on strike. :cry:

An excellent book Randy, I had my Wife read it a few years back, My eleven year old daughter will read it next!

Good material in "The Gift of Fear" and "Protecting the Gift", worth reading by everyone interested in personal safety or raising children.
Randy Pelletier

Post by Randy Pelletier »

This is a good thread to start Dana. :!:

Who else has good reference material to suggest? I can do a google search on the subject but there is some garbage out there and I would prefer to spend my time and money on material that is recommended by others.
hoshin
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Post by hoshin »

hey all;
i remember seeing Mr.Bittenbinder on tv. i liked a lot of what he had to say. one of the things he said that i liked was that all criminals will lie to you. this again, like you said would seem to be common sense but smart people will belive that lie " BECAUSE THEY WANT TO"

"pull down your pants because i dont want you to chase me"
"lie down on the ground because i dont want you to see which way i run"
ect .ect..
how cliche is " do what i tell you and you wont get hurt... 8O Yeah righhhttt....

this to me is an interseting point ...that mentally it is easier for people to belive the lie then face the reality they are in a dangerous violent situation.
how do we as teachers counter act this denial ? especialy if the training is not long term but rather a "self -defense" class.

Hoshin
~~~~~
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RACastanet
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Post by RACastanet »

Great topic. Thanks for posting it.

Rich
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MikeK
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Post by MikeK »

Randy,
Besides TGOF and Strong on Defense I thought Obsession by John Douglas and Mark Olshaker was a good add on. It goes into the the motivations of hunters like Robert Chambers, Ted Bundy and others. It also gets into what they saw in their victims.
A couple that are fun reads while being good are Come Back Alive by Robert Pelton and of course Marc MacYoungs books.

Dana, some more hints I've picked up.
Cell phones: People will do the dumbest things when talking on them. Watch how many people narrow their focus of their surroundings while trying to achieve some imaginary privacy. They'll look up, down and even turtle against a wall or corner. Amazing.
Walkman head sets while running or walking: Turns off the major sense that works for you 360 degrees.

A little off topic but while preparing not to be the victim of a crime also make sure to be ready for other threats. Some space blankets and some good first aid kits in the car and home are fairly cheap and very useful.
I was dreaming of the past...
Randy Pelletier

Post by Randy Pelletier »

Thanks Mike, I will check them out.



I always find it interesting and don't know how much Hollywood is involved but when someone tells you to get in the car or to walk with them to a secluded place, etc. You see this continually in the movies. Drives me nuts. :x

Why do you think they want to do that??? BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT COMFORTABLE ATTACKING YOU WHERE THEY ARE! That is actually your best place to go crazy on them, while there are still witnesses.

AUGH!!
this to me is an interseting point ...that mentally it is easier for people to belive the lie then face the reality they are in a dangerous violent situation.


Fully agree Hoshin and it is right along those lines that people are in the most danger if they do not react immediately. There is no other palce they will take you that is any safer or act they tell you to do that will put you in a better position.
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Bill Glasheen
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Post by Bill Glasheen »

The cell phone is a double-edged sword. It can indeed put someone at risk by shutting off the world around them while being engrossed in conversation. But it also quite possibly is the best weapon a common person of any age has against a random threat. It takes a second to dial 911 with one hand, and help is on the way. Sometimes just the threat of that is enough to make someone too uninviting a target.

It's not a sexy deterrent, but even a child can use it.

- Bill
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