Punishing your child

[benzocaine]

I see Spanking as a last resort. Most of the time it is a firm NO! that seems to melt him into tears.

After the spanking there is always a calm review of why the spanking happened... like " You can't jump on the couch, you could fall and hurt yourself"... or "You can't run to the street, you could get hurt".

It's for the overall good of the boy. As he gets older less and less corpareal punishment will be necessary. (I hope)

[mhosea]

Exactly. I wouldn't say that I was actually a proponent of spanking. When I had young children I was just trying to find my way, but it does seem to me, having been both on the receiving and delivering end, that "swatting" is an effective way of giving negative feedback for unwanted behaviors while the child is in a defiant or otherwise unresponsive frame of mind. The term "spanking" covers a broad range of possibilities, including "execution scenarios", where the child has already reached a reflective state of mind by the time the punishment is delivered. I don't like that at all. What I call "swatting" must be done while the child is in the act and is intended to give negative reinforcement and move the child's mind forward immediately, hence the fact that you CAN discuss it with them afterwards.

I can't speak in too much generality, but when I received this kind of treatment as a child, I didn't feel abused or repressed, nor did I feel that the authority figure delivering it was behaving in a way that was self-indulgent. I certainly did not feel that it was a "behavior" that I was to emulate, as it was a responsibility of authority figures to judge and to mete out punishment when necessary, and at that moment I saw them not as individuals but as representatives of authority. Too much is made of it being physical punishment. To me, anyway, physical and non-physical punishment were no different. I never had any fear of physical harm.

[tigereye]

Originally posted by benzocaine I especially hate making him cry.....

I believe it's difficult to give a recipe as we are all unique induviduals, what works to shape the behaviors of my child
not sure it will do for yours.

As parents, we struggle with teaching our children things that we already know how to do, which takes a lot of patience.

Consider the age of your child and ask yourself is he or she:
-able to make moral or rational decisions on one's own
-able to choose for oneself between right and wrong

We have to help prepare them to understand responsibility and have the chance to practice it when it is safe to make mistakes, so they will be better prepared to deal with the challenges of life that will come in their way.

Remember the Law of the Harvest states that you reap what you sow.
Watch for the sowing that you think leads to the richest harvest.

[tigereye]

I hope that nobody will find bad that I place this clip here.It's just beautiful...

How hard is to be a good father. .
http://www.zippyvideos.com/316346936233 ... ieroleche/

[benzocaine]