Disturbing law proposed in Afghanastan
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Chris McKaskell
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Chris McKaskell
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- Location: London, Ontario
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article from the cbc website:
New Afghan law forcing sex draws outrage from Canada
Last Updated: Tuesday, March 31, 2009 | 8:36 PM ET The Canadian Press
Canadian officials contacted the Afghan government Tuesday to express concern about controversial new legislation that would reportedly force women to have sex with their husbands.
The Canadian government reacted with outrage following reports that the administration of President Hamid Karzai has approved a wide-ranging family law for the country's Shia minority.
Various reports say the legislation would make it illegal for Shia women to refuse their husbands sex, leave the house without their permission or have custody of children.
Canadian officials contacted the Karzai's office, and Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon spoke to two Afghan cabinet ministers Tuesday seeking clarification.
Karzai's office has so far refused to comment on the legislation, which has been criticized by some Afghan parliamentarians and a UN women's agency but has not yet been published.
Critics say Karzai's government approved it in a hurry to win support in the upcoming election from ethnic Hazaras — a Shia Muslim minority that constitutes a crucial block of swing voters.
"If these reports are true, this will create serious problems for Canada," said International Trade Minister Stockwell Day, who fielded questions in the House of Commons.
"The onus is on the government of Afghanistan to live up to its responsibilities for human rights, absolutely including rights of women.
"If there's any wavering on this point from the government of Afghanistan, this will create serious problems and be a serious disappointment for us" Day said.
Late Tuesday, Canadian officials said they had learned the law was not yet in effect but that they remained "very concerned."
The Afghan constitution guarantees equal rights for women, but also allows the Shia to have separate family law based on religious tradition.
Some international monitors have avoided discussing the issue, for fear of feeding the impression that exists among Afghans that their government takes its marching orders from the West.
Female parliamentarians in Afghanistan have condemned the legislation, as has the United Nations Development Fund for Women.
They were joined Tuesday by the NDP, which has opposed the Afghan military mission.
"How can we say that our soldiers are there to protect women's rights when the Western-backed leader of this nation pushes through laws like this?" said NDP MP Dawn Black.
"Allowing women to be treated like a piece of property … is this what we're fighting for? Is this what our people are dying for in Afghanistan?"
Last edited by Chris McKaskell on Sat Apr 04, 2009 6:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Chris
Canadian officials contacted the Afghan government Tuesday to express concern about controversial new legislation that would reportedly force women to have sex with their husbands.
This makes me smile in a good natured way, not being disrespectful here, and fully understanding the plight of the women in such a country.
Now if this legislation were to be enacted in Italy, for example, which it would never cross legislators' minds...
The Italians would roll on the floor in laughing fits.
Refusal of sex to an Italian husband by a wife, is quickly countered by the husband 'catching' several mistresses in the next few months
Van
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Bill Glasheen
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Well as reprehensible as taking a mistress is, this law is worse. It basically legalizes rape, according to miscellaeneous commentators. I couldn't find any actual translation of the law though, so I'm not totally sure what exactly it does do. Still, even if what you say about men in Italy is true (and I suspect that not all are as despicable as to resort to infedilty) this is a much harsher treatment.Van Canna wrote: Refusal of sex to an Italian husband by a wife, is quickly countered by the husband 'catching' several mistresses in the next few months
Last edited by Valkenar on Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
That happens too, you know. I know of men that deny their wives as punishment when they are mad at them.Oye!
Just to give equal time... I wonder if such a society would ever consider not allowing men to refuse sex with their wives?
Food for thought.
- Bill
One of my good Jewish friends asked me if I knew what Jewish foreplay was...and the answer: two hours of begging.
Neither party should have to practically beg for something that is so healthy, necessary, and creates closeness through the intimacy. When you deny your partner, you deny yourself and your relationship. What ever the reason, both parties should discuss calmly and objectionably, mend those fences, and, if possible, make up ASAP.
Just my two cents,
Vicki
"Cry in the dojo, laugh in the battlefield"
Emily, 37, is a successful solicitor with a husband and a two-year-old son. To her friends, she doubtless lives a charmed existence. But recently she sat across from me in a life coaching session.
She was very distressed. Having just discovered that her husband of five years had had an affair, she felt that her world had disintegrated. She’d been a good partner, hadn’t she? She was caring and hardworking, wasn’t she?
Closer examination of their relationship revealed that Emily hadn’t had sex with her husband for many months.
When I pushed Emily gently on this she was incredibly defensive. It was her view that she was too busy with her career and raising their son to give any thought or time to sex.
Over the past two decades I have worked as a psychologist, life coach and sex expert, and I have found that Emily’s attitude is all too common.
And such views don’t bode well for the success of relationships. With increasing frequency, women in their twenties, thirties and forties take a pragmatic, postfeminist view that sex is something over which they have no need to negotiate.
In the bedroom, there is no compromise. If a man has a higher sex drive than a woman, then he can sort himself out.
If he wants to try something new and she can’t be bothered, tough luck to him.
Oh well
Van
Olivia, a 39-year-old investment consultant, was less fortunate. She had wanted to make certain financial investments that her husband was against.
Issues about their finances spread bad feeling into all other areas of their life and, like a stone dropped in water, the ripples from their acrimonious “discussions” reached far and wide.
When Olivia found that the stress of their differences diminished her sex drive, she felt completely justified in suggesting separate bedrooms.
As she recounted to me – with bitter regret, after their divorce – sex had been the last thing on her mind. Her biggest mistake was not considering what was on his mind.
Having researched my new book, as well as talked to thousands of men and women over the years, I now firmly believe that too many women see the sexual side of their lives as something to be claimed completely and utterly as their own. That’s fine for single women flexing their sexual muscles.
But once they settle into a relationship, many will continue to do so. This doesn’t make sense to me at all – and unfortunately I’m privy to the heartbreak and distress that goes along with this view.
Like it or not, a sexless life is at the root of much heartache and many affairs and/or relationship break-ups. And although lack of sex can often be a symptom of other problems that lead a relationship to break down, it can also be the cause.
Last edited by Van Canna on Thu Apr 02, 2009 3:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
Van
This makes sense
That goes to the heart of this issue. As women, we have come to expect that we can control our sex lives completely – but we get angry when a man wants to do so.
Some may argue that sex is such an intimate and personal set of behaviours and beliefs that lack of compromise is justified. I would argue quite the opposite. It is because of its personal nature that sex should be explored between a couple.
And by exploring their differences, and reconciling them, a couple’s attachment to, and love for, each other is often heightened.
In other cases I have found an even more disturbing attitude: that it’s fine to use occasional sex in a cold-hearted and calculated way as a favour or bartering tool for jobs well done by the man.
Amanda, a 38-year-old photographer, bartered sexual favours with her live-in partner when he did a particularly difficult piece of DIY or nasty bit of graft, such as unplugging drains.
Using sex as a bargaining chip demeans both partners.
The solution is to take a holistic approach to a relationship and understand that every part of it – careers, finances, family issues, sex – needs nurturing and understanding. It’s the “only I count” sexual attitudes that are killing off much sexual intimacy.
Never be bullied into sexual activity that turns you off or be pressured into sex that doesn’t satisfy you. But always be prepared to discuss your feelings and desires and listen to his. Hopefully, that will improve your sex life and help to strengthen your relationship in other ways, too.
Van
Not now dear...maybe later
Dr Spurr’s book Fabulous Foreplay: The Sex Doctor’s Guide To Teasing And Pleasing Your Lover, is published by J R Books at £7.99. Order your copy at the reduced price of £7.59 (including free p&p) from Times BooksFirst, 0870 1608080;
Van
