The Confident Woman
Moderator: Available
The Confident Woman
...by Marjorie Hansen Shaevitz has become my new bible. So I quote: "Self confident is having a clear distinct sense of self (knowing who you are, what qualities you have, what your priorities are, and what you like, need, prefer and desire), having the competence to deal effectively with a broad array of people and circumstances (that is, knowing how to do things and learn new things, find solutions and create opportunities...), trusting that you can, do and will take good care of yourself (that is, actively, caring for yourself physically, emotionally, socially, intellectually, financially and spiritually)...a woman having and enjoying her own unique self..." Wouldn't we all love to be confident?
The Confident Woman
Oh, my__ That would be some woman!_ 
------------------
Van Canna
------------------
Van Canna
The Confident Woman
Super Woman.Like Super man, standing in no need of nothing and no one.
Reality, for both men and women, is different.
Some times we all need help.Trying to become totally self contained and self reliant, is an excercise in , no futility, but peraps a slightly wrong direction.
Anyone, man or wman, must first investigate the facts of their situation.
If one is five feet nothing and weighs in at under one hundred pounds, one must factor this in before trying to become physically invincible or nearly so.
The nature of ones training, mindset and techniqures must be adjusted to the realities of the situation, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, no?
What is meant is merely this:If one tries to gain equal capacity to fight as one who is six two, two twenty, one can not imitate the techniques and srategy used by that one, if one is as above.Man or woman.One must rather take a different track to achieve one's goals. It is then more possible to reach these.
One must make certain as Van has said in here on another thread, quoting Paxton Quinn, or Peyton Quigley, two of my favorites
, that one's confidence is based in fact.
Then, one may proceed.
Kusanku
Reality, for both men and women, is different.
Some times we all need help.Trying to become totally self contained and self reliant, is an excercise in , no futility, but peraps a slightly wrong direction.
Anyone, man or wman, must first investigate the facts of their situation.
If one is five feet nothing and weighs in at under one hundred pounds, one must factor this in before trying to become physically invincible or nearly so.
The nature of ones training, mindset and techniqures must be adjusted to the realities of the situation, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, no?
What is meant is merely this:If one tries to gain equal capacity to fight as one who is six two, two twenty, one can not imitate the techniques and srategy used by that one, if one is as above.Man or woman.One must rather take a different track to achieve one's goals. It is then more possible to reach these.
One must make certain as Van has said in here on another thread, quoting Paxton Quinn, or Peyton Quigley, two of my favorites
, that one's confidence is based in fact.Then, one may proceed.
Kusanku
The Confident Woman
Here's another little snippet:
Confident women balance their own needs with the needs of others.
Confident women treat their bodies with care and respect.
Confident women are open and direct with their anger and express it appropriately.
Confident women allow others to be responsible for their own happiness and comfort.
Confident women seek out the humourous and playful aspects in themselves, in situations, and in others.
Confident women form nourishing rather than destructive relationships and stick up for themselves on occassions when things go awry.
Confident women see life as an adventure and seek out new and better ways, ideas and experiences.
Confident women are equally comfortable in giving and receiving, as well as being asked and asking for what they want.
Confident women accept responsibility for themselves and for being the cause and effect of what they want.
Confident women are not afraid of being alone and enjoy men who are best friends and add to their lives.
....oh there is so much more!!!
Confident women balance their own needs with the needs of others.
Confident women treat their bodies with care and respect.
Confident women are open and direct with their anger and express it appropriately.
Confident women allow others to be responsible for their own happiness and comfort.
Confident women seek out the humourous and playful aspects in themselves, in situations, and in others.
Confident women form nourishing rather than destructive relationships and stick up for themselves on occassions when things go awry.
Confident women see life as an adventure and seek out new and better ways, ideas and experiences.
Confident women are equally comfortable in giving and receiving, as well as being asked and asking for what they want.
Confident women accept responsibility for themselves and for being the cause and effect of what they want.
Confident women are not afraid of being alone and enjoy men who are best friends and add to their lives.
....oh there is so much more!!!
The Confident Woman
"....one's confidence is based in fact"
I couldn't have said that better myself
Sad thing is that so many women in today's society are constantly told how they should act, what they should look like, what they should want, how they should be....
"Not huffy or stuffy, nor tiny or tall,
But fluffy, just fluffy, with no brains at all"
(Sir Alan Patrick Herbert (1890-1971) "I Like Them Fluffy"
[This message has been edited by Mary S (edited August 22, 2000).]
I couldn't have said that better myself
Sad thing is that so many women in today's society are constantly told how they should act, what they should look like, what they should want, how they should be....
"Not huffy or stuffy, nor tiny or tall,
But fluffy, just fluffy, with no brains at all"
(Sir Alan Patrick Herbert (1890-1971) "I Like Them Fluffy"
[This message has been edited by Mary S (edited August 22, 2000).]
The Confident Woman
How confident will you be when a garbage mouthed male verbally attacks?
David Elkins Sensei has posted a topic on Van Canna's Self Defense Realities Forum which is titled Realism.
I agree with Van when he stated:
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>If you want to train women with realism you want to develop a real “garbage mouth” as a prelude to simulated attack, because when directed at a woman by an aggressor, it is a most horrifying sound.
It is potentially devastating and debilitating to a woman because the foul language objectifies her, reduces the woman to body parts for the attacker’s pleasure.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
How do women feel about practicing this type of attack with VSD?
Do feel your Sensei, will not be able to initiate a correct response without losing respect of their student?
Also I will post a similar topic on the VSD forum titled Women and the Garbage Mouth to see if there are Verbal retorts to this type of agression by a male attacker.
Please join in these discussions.
------------------
Len Testa
David Elkins Sensei has posted a topic on Van Canna's Self Defense Realities Forum which is titled Realism.
I agree with Van when he stated:
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>If you want to train women with realism you want to develop a real “garbage mouth” as a prelude to simulated attack, because when directed at a woman by an aggressor, it is a most horrifying sound.
It is potentially devastating and debilitating to a woman because the foul language objectifies her, reduces the woman to body parts for the attacker’s pleasure.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
How do women feel about practicing this type of attack with VSD?
Do feel your Sensei, will not be able to initiate a correct response without losing respect of their student?
Also I will post a similar topic on the VSD forum titled Women and the Garbage Mouth to see if there are Verbal retorts to this type of agression by a male attacker.
Please join in these discussions.
------------------
Len Testa
The Confident Woman
Oh, JD, don't stop there...how about these? "not to be trusted" (Homer, Odyssey)..."an inferior man" (Aristotle) ..."fickle, unstable things (Virgil) ... "a stupid vessel over whom men must always hold power" (Martin Luther) ... "Frailty, thy name is woman" (Shakespeare) ..."God's second mistake" (Nietzsche) It's quite obvious we have come a long way. By the way, I hope you enjoyed YOUR cigars! ~grin~
The Confident Woman
:-) Just wanted to clarify that at the request of JD, I brought him some cigars to summer camp (in case my previous comment was misinterpreted) :-)
-
Tony-San
The Confident Woman
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Doctor X:
Mary-chan:
Sometimes a cigar is simply a cigar.
--Sigmund Freud<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Tell that to Monica Lewinski.....i'm sure she'll disagree. :O
Mary-chan:
Sometimes a cigar is simply a cigar.
--Sigmund Freud<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Tell that to Monica Lewinski.....i'm sure she'll disagree. :O
The Confident Woman
JD
Go to the photos page on my website and expand each photo you wish to have.
Use your mouse to right click on the photo and a menu will appear, choose save as:
You may rename the photo to anything you wish and save it to your hard drive.
If you have problems let me know and I will put them on a disk for you.
Tony-san...should we forgive Monica?
------------------
Len Testa
Go to the photos page on my website and expand each photo you wish to have.
Use your mouse to right click on the photo and a menu will appear, choose save as:
You may rename the photo to anything you wish and save it to your hard drive.
If you have problems let me know and I will put them on a disk for you.
Tony-san...should we forgive Monica?
------------------
Len Testa
The Confident Woman
Hey Mary - just a quick note that I'm enjoying this thread - thanks for posting it! I have some contributions of my own when I get more than five minutes to myself to get my thoughts together - meanwhile thanks to everyone for the contributions.
The Confident Woman
Hey Lori, thanks!!! I truly recommend this book!!!
I admit I have been reading and "skimming" and keep finding little gems....the difference between global self-confidence and personal self-confidence, trusting your "gut" feelings, how to say "no", how to make time for yourself, how to nurture others without doing everything for them, etc.
The book is filled with quotes and honestly when I picked up to look at it in the bookstore the pages fell open to the poem "Phenomenal Woman" ... I figured that had to be a sign right there
Only thing is, I think it should have been written gender non-specific and called "The Confident Person".
I admit I have been reading and "skimming" and keep finding little gems....the difference between global self-confidence and personal self-confidence, trusting your "gut" feelings, how to say "no", how to make time for yourself, how to nurture others without doing everything for them, etc.
The book is filled with quotes and honestly when I picked up to look at it in the bookstore the pages fell open to the poem "Phenomenal Woman" ... I figured that had to be a sign right there
Only thing is, I think it should have been written gender non-specific and called "The Confident Person".
The Confident Woman
The confident PERSON??? Oh no - not you Mary - truly! (I'm running a grassroots rebellion against PC-ness - recruiters will soon be contacting you!)
I was looking through my daughter's high school history text this morning - and reading a chapter on the gun control issue came across references to the old west and "cow hands" - it was so funny - I have another post I eventually want to write about it (I've added it to a long list!) Somehow - I don't recall thinking of too many cow-girls running through the old west - and even if there were a few notable ones - I like the term cow-girl as a celebration of their gender and place in history - but cow HAND - the images are ridiculous! This gender neutral PC-ness is insane!
As I've said before CELEBRATE the differences! Don't neutralize them! Or we all become a bunch of wimpy geldings!
ARg! More when I have more time to vent!
Will have to get a copy of that book (it's on a list now too - another long one! - I will have to add it to my web page list of books discussed on these forums...)
Meanwhile - here's another gem:
<blockquote>I have a brain and a uterus, and I use both - Patricia Schroeder, verteran Colorado congresswoman who coined the term "Teflon-coated presidency," also known as Mom.</blockquote>
I was looking through my daughter's high school history text this morning - and reading a chapter on the gun control issue came across references to the old west and "cow hands" - it was so funny - I have another post I eventually want to write about it (I've added it to a long list!) Somehow - I don't recall thinking of too many cow-girls running through the old west - and even if there were a few notable ones - I like the term cow-girl as a celebration of their gender and place in history - but cow HAND - the images are ridiculous! This gender neutral PC-ness is insane!
As I've said before CELEBRATE the differences! Don't neutralize them! Or we all become a bunch of wimpy geldings!
ARg! More when I have more time to vent!
Will have to get a copy of that book (it's on a list now too - another long one! - I will have to add it to my web page list of books discussed on these forums...)
Meanwhile - here's another gem:
<blockquote>I have a brain and a uterus, and I use both - Patricia Schroeder, verteran Colorado congresswoman who coined the term "Teflon-coated presidency," also known as Mom.</blockquote>
The Confident Woman
Ah Lori...."PC"? What? Who? Nah, not me!!!
But after having a personal discussion today with a male who, to me, exudes confidence from every pore - I was quite surprised to hear that he felt that he sometimes lacked confidence.
So, no, not a case of being "PC". Rather a case of acknowledging that all of us suffer to a certain degree from lack of confidence about certain aspects of our lives and ourselves. I'm not sure that confidence or lack thereof is always a gender specific thing.
It does seem however that women are targetted more on this topic. There are not too many confidence books out there directly exclusively at men - are they not needed?
But after having a personal discussion today with a male who, to me, exudes confidence from every pore - I was quite surprised to hear that he felt that he sometimes lacked confidence.
So, no, not a case of being "PC". Rather a case of acknowledging that all of us suffer to a certain degree from lack of confidence about certain aspects of our lives and ourselves. I'm not sure that confidence or lack thereof is always a gender specific thing.
It does seem however that women are targetted more on this topic. There are not too many confidence books out there directly exclusively at men - are they not needed?
-
Tony-San
The Confident Woman
awww..let's forgive Monica. She's just a dumb, star struck kid who fell for Bill's redneck charm and honked the presidiential BoBo! No biggie....
She must have had it bad to do the cigar thing though...
Tony
She must have had it bad to do the cigar thing though...
Tony
