So I waited until now to post something that was somewhat personal, and somewhat of a challenge to anyone (not anyone in particular) who thinks they have "it" all figured out.
In case you are wondering, I don't think I have it figured out, nor do I think most do. And when success comes, I don't really feel like patting myself on the back.
But I enjoy the journey - mostly because there IS so much uncertainty and so many different ways. Not sure if everyone understands that, but that's fine by me.

Anyhow, here was the post.
- BillThanks to all for the thoughtful, caring posts.
We can analyze those situations ad nauseum. Heck, I was recently involved in a "situation" myself, and the conclusion by one learned individual was that I made a tactical error. But we can't argue with the results; both your student and I succeeded with practically the best possible outcome. I am most happy for your student, and I am happy for myself. But...what does it all mean? To what do we attribute success? What can we garner from single data points?
I've had similar successful encounters for my students, Rick. A woman whom I will refer to as "Maria" (some know her) was sexually assaulted in the classroom in a foreign country. A student came up and grabbed her breast. She didn't wait for the other boob to be grabbed...In probably the blink of an eye, the student was slammed against a concrete wall and his face met her fist when he bounced off of it. Oye!!! I was more concerned about the OVERreaction.
In any case she was fortunate; the situation turned out fine.
She was fortunate. I was fortunate. Your student was fortunate. But I do say that luck is preparation*opportunity. We all seek validity in our preparation methods.
I have many, many more stories, Rick. Sometimes things work. I'm always happy when they do, but I never, ever get to the point where I begin to believe in my own myth. I run scared - all the time. One of the things I respect most about Tony Blauer is that he told me he runs scared as well. He's never satisfied. He can talk a great sales pitch and he proceeds with passion - as he should. But I don't get the impression he is wooed by it himself. Good!
Because the day will come when a teacher hears...Live life long enough, and it will eventually happen. Indeed, who failed whom? As a scientist who already knew not to take credit for positive anecdotes, my rational side will deal with it and my emotional side will be torn to shreds. And the mathematician who understands MATHEMATICAL chaos knows the real truth - $hit happens. As my friend Panther likes to say, “Sometimes you’re the windshield, and sometimes you’re the bug.” It's that damned butterfly effect. We will never really know. That, my friend, is the wonder of nature. And believe it or not, nature as we know it wouldn’t survive without that uncertainty. But I wax geeky…Sensei, I am so sorry I failed you.
I STILL fail to comprehend your insistence that Kyu Kumite waits for two attacks before responding. I thought I addressed that; I clearly don't share your view. As I do Kyu Kumite, I see options for clean countering all the way through. Again, #3 is the classic example. The person is or can be toast at the outset. But we give ourselves permission to play with the tiger. We also give ourselves permission to make mistakes, and mistakes DO happen in real life. Meanwhile, my advanced classes are rarely about doing the exercise beginning to end. We tear it apart, do individual techniques mirror image, show built in counters everywhere, etc. Like the way kata used to be trained, much of the work isn’t about doing them from beginning to end.
Whether or not you believe in it, there's a beautiful piece on The "Ethics" of Defense in AIKIDO AND THE DYNAMIC SPHERE (Tuttle, 1970). Let me quote.Call me an eater of lotus if you will; I hold this conviction with no shame. And from my personal experiences - ones that I do not relish sharing - I have no fear that "he" will come forth when it is time. Frankly I don't want to think about "him" a lot. While some wonder if “he” is inside, I fear “him.”This last and highest level is the goal of all aikido self-defense arts. It requires skill: the result of intensive practice of the technical means of defense devised by the founder, Master Uyeshiba. But it requires more than that. It requires an ethical intention. A man must sincerely desire to defend himself without hurting others. He must be well on the way toward integration of mind and body, of physical means and ethical motives.
BTW, I realize my goal is lofty and perhaps unattainable for most – perhaps even for me. I don't care; the journey is fun. And if it isn’t fun, you don’t show up. And if you don’t show up…
And you know what? I am reinforced in my convictions from the strangest places. Both Van and I have read Lt. Col. Dave Grossman's book "On Killing." It's a fascinating read! I find the reactions to the book so varied that I begin to wonder whether or not it would serve well as a Rorschach test.
I see death everywhere in the martial arts. I choose to immerse myself in it the way some eat hot sauce - so it doesn't bother me so much any more. As I walk in the valley of death, I WILL fear evil, but I wish to hold that fear - and the response to it - at the level I choose when possible.
This is not meant as a negative diatribe towards anyone. On the contrary, I’m letting the world see my own doubts, and I'm always open to learn more.