But death and taxes... (Which reminds me that April 15 is coming up soon. Schit...)
We all have myriad points in life where our mortality becomes reality. Our warriors face that at an early age - an age when their balls are bigger than their brains. And good for us, no? Some of us are cursed with chronic illnesses. Some go through near-death experiences. Some hit thirty and realize it isn't going to get any better.
I first realized I'd die for a cause when my first son was born. If you don't have kids and/or you just don't care, well... it's difficult to explain.
Lately I've had the privilege of becoming a parent to my father. He's eighty-eight and still a full-time trader of securities. He also formed and operates a philanthropic organization in my late mom's name. He does more at 88 than most do at half his age. But... he never was much into going to the doctor. Never saw a dentist past his twenties. (Teeth? Forgetaboutit.) Didn't get a hernia fixed until it strangulated.
Didn't deal with prostate cancer until it was out of the barn. Oops...
And so with some bonehead doctor telling him he had maybe 2 years left to live (about 2.5 years ago), he came to me for help. I in turn took over the management of his health care.
Let's see now... What kinds of things can go wrong when you're 88? A few things.
And so I'm not really handling "a disease"; I'm handling "a complex patient."I'm blessed in that I've worked in the health care system for years, and know a lot of people. I've published with a urologist. That was a great start. I understand the bleeding edge of medicine. So I got him in an experimental trial that may lead to an FDA-approved therapy this year. (My dad got the treatment...) I have the PCP, the urologist, the oncologist, an ER visit here and there...
All through it, my dad keeps asking "How long do I have?" And the best answer I have to give him (thanks to my urology buddy) is "You're old, damnit! You've already beaten the odds. It's all gravy from this point forward."
So what am I managing most (besides the medical care)? Attitude. So The Grim Reaper is right here in the room. Fine. So what are you gonna do?
One of the blessings of the last few years is watching my dad kick it all in higher gear because he knows that the fellow is right there behind him.
Another blessing is seeing how good some doctors are, and how others REALLY suk. It isn't just the therapy; it's the interaction with the patient. And guess what? Someone in pain and/or facing their mortality isn't always in the best mood. So you want to take it personally? Grow up.
What can we do??? Yea yea... We're all going to die. How can I keep this man in the saddle until it's time?
What are you going to do today, dad? Finish a project? Schit... I may not finish this day. I got your back. What are you going to do????
Is this about my dad? Not really.
- Bill
