Musings from the litterbox...

Panther · Post by **Panther** » Tue Sep 19, 2000 8:27 pm

<blockquote>La-dee-da...

scratch-a, scratch-a, scratch-a

humm-dee-dum...

scratch-a, scratch-a, scratch-a

There once was a man from...</blockquote>

Oh! Hi! Sorry... I didn't see you standing there!

I was just sitting here... ummmmm... meditating! Yes... meditating and thinking on the ways of the world...

Ever wonder why people are so stressed out?

Seems that no matter what's happening in their lives, they just can't relax.

I mean really...

If someone celebrates a different religious holiday, they get upset!

If someone is a different color, they get upset!

If someone is a different race, they get upset!

If someone speaks a different language, they get upset!

If someone drives a different way, they get upset!

If someone eats the wrong food, they get upset!

If someone smokes, they get upset!

If someone plays music too loud or the wrong kind of music, they get upset!

If someone practices a different martial art, they get upset!

I gotta tell ya, I just don't understand these humans! I try to curl up with 'em and calm them down... I offer my chin to scratch and fur to rub, but sometimes it just doesn't seem to help.

I mean... Us cats just don't have these problems.

Come-on... really!

Ever see a cat get upset with another cat 'cause they're different colors? Naaaaaa, 'course not!

Ever see a cat get upset with another cat 'cause they're different breeds? Naaaaaa, 'course not!

Ever see a cat that didn't know that the correct religion was the human worship of cats? Naaaaaaa....

Ever see a cat get upset with another cat 'cause they were walkin' or talkin' differently? Heck, many cats don't even get upset with dogs for walkin' and talkin' differently! (We get upset with dogs, 'cause were supposed to!

)

Ever see a cat get upset with another cat 'cause it ate different food? Never...

Ever see a cat that was stupid enough to smoke? Well, we do have that catnip problem, but it's for medical reasons! Honest!

And cats like all different kinds of music too! And we don't get upset with each other for liking different kinds of music either!

You know all cats study the ultimate martial arts... Feline-ryu claw-jitsu is the ultimate... It's been around longer than those other martial arts and it's techniques are both traditional and adaptive to real combat.

And cats understand stress relief... it's simple...

Eat, Drink, Sleep, go to the box, play with the ball, Drink, Sleep, Eat, Drink, practice claw-jitsu, Sleep, get human attention and rubs, Sleep, repeat...

So what IS the problem with humans these days?

Mary S · Post by **Mary S** » Tue Sep 19, 2000 8:41 pm

The problem with humans?? Well, they are the ones that have to change the litter box!

(Fabulous post!!!!)

Panther · Post by **Panther** » Wed Sep 20, 2000 2:58 pm

Why Mary-san...

That was a purrrfect response!

You know, if the litter box isn't changed, we just go on your favorite pillow!

Now pass the sushi... yummmmmmmmm...

Mary S · Post by **Mary S** » Wed Sep 20, 2000 3:06 pm

I thought it was appropriate considering I have to "cat sit" for someone for three weeks in October....

And Panther-san don't forget the part about gleefully ripping pantyhose to shreds, bringing in the dead mouse as a gift, cat fur everywhere, and that purring loud enough to wake the dead!

crazycat · Post by **crazycat** » Wed Sep 20, 2000 3:11 pm

What's wrong with humans?

I've read, we were described as being a multi-headed surpent that cannot stand living in the same body.

didn't mean to spoil the jokeing...

Steve · Post by **Steve** » Sat Sep 23, 2000 4:30 pm

Speaking of sushi - my kids have just introduced two gerbils into a household of two cats and a dog. The cats and dog get along, but both want access to the gerbils. The cats stare into the habit-trail type gerbil housing as if shopping for the correct fish at a sushi restaurant! When's dinner?

------------------
D. Steven White
swhite@umassd.edu

Lori · Post by **Lori** » Sun Sep 24, 2000 5:43 am

One

Meow.
If you can utter the one true sound,
You have found the way.
Some humans call the way "the Tao."
All I know is it rhymes with Meow.
And when I say, "Meow," I want my way
Wheter I speak it or not, it is the one true sound
Because it lets me get my way.

Meow is the beginning of all things,
The source of everything I want.
I don't actually need all things,
Although some humans think they do.
Food, shelter, catnip, and mice to catch
Are enough for me.
Alhtough--I will admit--
It's nice to have someone provide these things for me.

I do not know their names--they are the Nameless Ones.
I just call them "Meow."
Meow. They come. They open the door.
I don't know how they do it.
But they do. They know the Meow.

Through the Meow, it is possible to perceive the Subtle.
Through the Meow it is possible to get what you want.
The Tao of Meow--
The way to get the best of both worlds.

And when I have the best of both,
I lie down on a simple blanket
And contemplate the profound--
Even that which is more profound than the profound,
More subtle than any subtlety--
The purr of perfection
Which is the door to all contentment.

Meow.

from The Tao of Meow by Waldo Japussy

crazycat · Post by **crazycat** » Sun Sep 24, 2000 3:42 pm

from The Tao of Meow by Waldo Japussy[/B][/QUOTE]

Heah heah heah...

Lori · Post by **Lori** » Sun Sep 24, 2000 3:47 pm

It is - truly.

I have the book right here next to "The Tao Te Ching" and "The Tao of Power" - its a great book. I'll add more if there is interest.

Jackie Olsen · Post by **Jackie Olsen** » Mon Sep 25, 2000 12:56 pm

Dear Lori & Panther & Everyone else!

What a truly delightful thread. Our style was founded on three animals ... many disciplines study/mimic animals to understand nature and learn from their skills.

I know my karate would definitely improve if I could just embody the essence of relaxation and focus a cat exudes.

------------------
In Beauty,

Jackie

Panther · Post by **Panther** » Mon Sep 25, 2000 4:04 pm

Yaaaaaaaaawwwwn.....

Strreeeeeeeetch.....

(Opens an eye and takes in the world)

Fond memories... dreams of shredding panyhose... the daily mail... playing with the newspaper... I mean, what's left of it...

Glances over at the birdfeeder that is torturously placed outside the dining room window... longing for a snack... perhaps a mouse will get brave and allow me to practice feline-ryu... hmmmmm...

Oh... Hi... Yes, to the subject at hand, ummm, paw.

The Tao of Meow... excellent serious philosophical work, but the author hasn't quite attained enlightenment. You see, all the pet human's in our house are greeted by their specific name. There's "Meow" and "Mau". We communicate very effectively with our pet humans... Our pet humans have learned to understand felinese pretty well.

"Mmmmmmoooooooooh" == "Unlock and open this damn door!"
"Meeeeeeeeoooooow" == "Is that meat? Looks like meat! Give me some meat!"
"Mew" == "Hi, glad to see ya."
"Mau-ow-ow" == "Let's play!"
"Wow! WOW!" == "Time to get up! (and feeeeeeed me!)"
"Arf, arf, arf!" == "Look at the meat just sitting there on the birdfeeder!"
"Grrrrrrrrr!" == "Don't F' with me!"
"Puuuuuurrr!" == "Yeah, right there... scratch my chin... oh, oh, oh...!"

And as for opening doors... HA! We don't need our pet humans for that, we just need them to keep them unlocked, we do just fine reaching up to that little knob and turning it ourselves... and those sliding doors... piece of tuna! Just stick the ole claws right underneath and voila, open enough to pass through! Cabinets? Not a problem... Think of that scene out of the "Sixth Sense" when the boy's mom walks out and then back into the kitchen... And we don't even drink from any stupid water dish... nope, not us! We prefer fresh water direct from the faucet... and if our humans aren't around to turn on the faucet for us... well, we know how to do that ourselves as well... we don't turn them back off though, cause then our humans wouldn't get the message that we were thirsty and took care of it ourselves...

Finally, for relaxation and focus remember what the great cat philosopher Mau Tsu wrote; "There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot!"

[This message has been edited by Panther (edited September 25, 2000).]

Phaedra · Post by **Phaedra** » Tue Sep 26, 2000 7:09 am

We cats may not get upset exactly by a cat of another breed or colour, but since that pretty little tabby princess, with her fluuuuuuufffy white tummy and such a beeuuuutiful boofy tail wound her insidious way into the affections of MY humans, previously known lovers of the pinnacle of cat perfection, the black domestic shorthair, the duty has fallen to me to ensure the newcomer knows her place in the order of things. She may think that being pretty and flirtatious is enough, but when was the last time SHE left a bouquet of rat entrails for the humans? It just gets my paws twitching and itching to bash, to see her smug little fluffy face peering coyly down from the very chairs I was forbidden to touch. She may have trained the humans to provide the food twice a day, but it was I who went through the processes of teaching them the proper style of food, with my sudden allergy to the cheap stuff, and it is due to my hard work with neck sores that she goes collar free now. Now that the years lie more heavily on my joints, and the teeth that once held back the flow of pleasureful saliva are long gone, when a warm bed between a human's feet calls more strongly than mystery and adventure of the night-life, she should be the one who protects our territory, the one who brings the rodent offerrings to the humans, but she claims 'But I'm pretty, I don't need to know how to fight, to hunt.' So I content myself with the occassional whack in the face, teasing her by sitting innocently in the path to where she wants to be, and dream of the days when all cats knew how the catch their own food, and how to use a litter tray without needing trips to the vet for 'trimming' of their fluffy leg fur.